Behind the Scenes of My Fall Equinox…
I actually got to start celebrating the Equinox a little early this year. To be honest, there have been a number of Equinoxes and Solstices in the last few years that have just passed me by with barely a nod or notice (helloooo, parenting).
So being able to have some time with loved ones, even a few days before the Equinox, was a real blessing.
🍂It reminded me that even taking the tiniest amount of time to acknowledge the turning of the seasons connects us to something deeper. 🍂
For millennia, humans have marked the changes of seasons with practical, simple actions: planting seeds in spring, celebrating the bounty of summer…and in autumn, harvesting and preparing for the colder months to come.
These days, we don’t rely so directly on the cycles of Nature as much as we used to—modern conveniences are a buffer between us and these simple truths of life.
🍂So we have to make a conscious effort to tune in.🍂
Attuning to these cycles also tunes us into something innate and profoundly satisfying: a pulse of life that stretches back to ages past, when the connection between human and nature was simply…seamless.
For my “Equinox pre-party,” I’ll call it…we gathered at a friend’s house in the mountains, cozied in blankets in the crisp evening air on a deck that looked out onto an expanse of pine trees, as the sun disappeared behind the mountains and Venus rose above and the smell of burning sage wafted through the air.
🍂We all took a moment to share what was culminating in our lives—what were we harvesting? Were there any chapters ending? 🍂
I, for one, was celebrating my very first night out away from the kiddos since Nikola was born. It was a culmination of the end of the very-small-baby months, and a step into the tiniest slice of a little more freedom. HOO-RAY!! 🎉
Autumn Shows Us How Beautiful It Is To Let Go
We then got to the whole “autumn equals dying a little” aspect of our intimate ceremony, asking ourselves, "What are we letting go of?"
As one of my friends, a newly-minted Chinese Medicine doctor, started speaking about the deeper elemental undertones of the change of season (it’s a metal time of year, FYI), and the way the Earth dries up from the final heat of summer…I found myself noticing what sometimes feels like a large dichotomy between the "me" that sits in meditation (for 10-15 minutes at a time, yo—gotta be realistic!) or for a silent tea ceremony, and the part of me that sits at a computer and commands the Rasa ship from behind a screen.
But what to do?
The season of life I’m in right now is FULL ON, there's simply no way around that.
Two kids 3 and under, one business just getting its legs underneath it (wanna help strengthen our legs?? I’m SO glad you asked, here's how!)
And I’mma laugh in your face right now if you think I’m gonna suddenly start letting go of a bunch of shit and just be “doing less” and “journaling more” while I “hibernate for the winter.” (Non-parents: ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN. And enjoy a little extra for me, please!)
But. Is there a both/and Possible this Equinox?
I’ve known for a while that this sense of separation between these two sides of me is not sustainable: the side that is clear, calm, contented…completely at peace and spacious AF…and the side that feels like I am never mothering or entrepreneuring enough, and am running through life, constantly teetering at the edge of overwhelm.
Up til now, I’ve found balance through the extremes:
I work my bootay off during the week / I spend some unplugged time in the mountains on the weekend.
I run straight through the hours of the weekdays / I take time to drink tea and meditate after the kiddos are finally asleep (side note: is it OK to give Ambien to children? Asking for a friend.)
Can these two sides of me communicate with each other more? And if so, how?
The answer is not so clear-cut one that I can share cohesively with you here…it’s more of a “living the questions” intention that I’m setting for the season.
I’m letting go of this sense that these aspects of me must be separate in order to be a good mom & successful entrepreneur, and living the question about how to be all three:
🍂a good mom (by my own standards),
🍂a successful entrepreneur,
🍂and a calm, centered, nourished human being (not a human doing).
What this looks like so far is…
….more deep breaths. All day. Like right now.
...less checking my 4 favorite apps every 18 seconds for the little dopamine hits that don’t deliver long-term satisfaction (“Ooh, 10 new followers! Another wholesale order! Likes on FB!” Seriously? Is this what we’ve come to?)
...adding in calming, quiet music as I work (instead of my favorite tribal deep house playlist, which will surely stay in heavy rotation if I don't consciously change it up). I find that music can induce a profound and rapid state change.
…practicing what I preach more and using my first sips of my daily Rasa as a moment of conscious nourishment.
✨🍂What are you doing to celebrate this fall Equinox?🍂✨
I wanna hear all about it in the comments below!
Author: Lopa van der Mersch